Wicked Good

Where the fuck am I?

2007-11-24T21:42:00.000-08:00

My head's in la la land, but I always seem to be working, commuting, as my dreams pass me by. What ever happened to me just living? Jeez, it's been a while...

Floored

2006-09-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

How is it that I become completely floored by speaking to someone in my past, when I thought I was completely over it. Admittedly, I never wanted to see him or speak with him again, but had no reason to remember or to justify why I felt that way. But, upon that surprise phonecall, I am brought to memories of a person that left me a shell and of which I had to work hard to rebuild myself into the person I am today. Speaking to him was strange. He hadn't seemed to change except that he had a well paying job, and his wife was pregnant with their first child. He didn't seem interested in talking about her or life as a family man, he seemed to want to try and reconnect with me. But in a way that was trying to show off or prove to me that he made it. he's not a loser and he has a good job. Who am I to judge? He has nothing to prove to me, but I guess it seems to him that I am the one that got away. As for me? Thank FUCK!
He tried to credit me for showing him a different path in life, a different way of thinking, yet didn't seem to acknowledge his part in my own downfall. I don't blame him for it, in fact I credit him for teaching me about the insanity of dealing with people with severe drug addictions, overcoming childhood abuse and the effects of that abuse in choosing romantic partners. I made some BIG mistakes and he was one of them. I guess I can call it a learning experience. I truly have no regrets. I learned a lot about the darkside. My naivity was shattered. I learned about the nature of different kinds of people. My compassion for humanity still has not waned. I have only grown from it.
Speaking to him, I felt dirty and vacant. I was reminded of myself as how I once was and how I am now. I never want to go back to that place and I never want to see or speak to him again. I was relieved J- called me and I ended that conversation.
Which brings me to the present... Why do I feel the way I do now? Although I have forgiveness, why am I still angry? Angry for allowing myself to be involved in that. I know I could say I was young and naive, that low self worth, low self-esteem, and poor examples of a lot of things contributed to the decisions I made at that time in my life. But the fact that I feel he doesn't seem to acknowledgee his own role of which it has taken me years to rebuild in myself and of my relationships with people, family, and friends. For me to be okay with him, I think he needs to acknowledge his manipulativeness in regards to me. Or at least hear me out in terms of how I feel on that past wish I would rather forget. I won't be able to deal with him otherwise. In fact, I don't want to deal with him at all. The key word there is DEAL.
I now fully understand when I hear stories of people cutting others out of their lives. I understand.

*images are of Adrian Ward, an artist from Nimbin, demonstrating the use of his "mind machine." (before, after, and close-up)

Artist's studio, Nimbin AU, 2004

** images are NOT of the subject in this blog and is a loose interpretation of how"my mind is BLOWN, man!"

So long, Farewell...

2006-07-28T02:36:00.000-07:00

Passing out when intoxicated leaves the sober ones up to no good. (Sorry Joel. hehehe)

It's been a while. I've been in hiding. Good news. My flatmate and I have gotten closer over these few months and are now together.
Bad news. I leave in 5 days.
Sweet home Chicago.
Good news. Josh ( hi. I miss you already.) visits me for the holidays. Chicago misadventures, Montreal for Christmas, and NYC for NYE. Bad news. All I
know is that I just don't know. All I know is that I don't know nuthin'.

I got some old film processed the other day. This one is for you Sam.

I know I haven't told anyone really that I was going. My phone ran out of credit. I've become a recluse. No one really bothered to call me. I can only do so much. Sayonara suckers. Summer's in full swing!

A Conversation

2006-03-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

sillysuthi: what does the lucky charms guy say again?
Dethfactor: Silly Faggot Dicks are for Chicks?
Dethfactor: wait..wrong cereal
Dethfactor: Umm something about slobbering on his blarney stone err something..
sillysuthi: i can't find me lucky charms?
Dethfactor: ahh yeah.. thats it
Dethfactor: stupid irish faggot.. always leaving his shit everywhere
sillysuthi: yeah, thats the ticket. faggioso
Dethfactor: so.. do you have any photography tips for me? like don't clean your lenses with piss
sillysuthi: thats a start. make sure your lenses are stored well. they can get moldy
Dethfactor: especially if you piss on them
sillysuthi: exactly. and no poo either.
Dethfactor: I dunno anything about metering you can tell me?! film tips?! I dunno Im definately an amature.. I've taken like 2 good pictures in my life
sillysuthi: metering. well, the light meter will read everything as being middle gray
Dethfactor: yeah
Dethfactor: I knows that
sillysuthi: so, a person backlit will be averaged out and that is why the person is dark
sillysuthi: so you have to meter the light for the person
Dethfactor: yeah
Dethfactor: and offset the aperature size a few steps to compensate for the darks/lights
sillysuthi: so for example, a white person's skintone is a zone 6. mid grey is zone 5.. yes exactly
Dethfactor: I knows.. I reads about that..
Dethfactor: practiced very little though
Dethfactor: never have time
Dethfactor: umm any lenses you'd recommend/cameras
sillysuthi: go to a camera store and buy a grey card
Dethfactor: I have one
sillysuthi: when you meter the light falling on the gray card, that should be the correct exposure
sillysuthi: so if you put the grey card where you want to meter the light and measure form that, you should be fine. it takes a little more time, but it'll give you correct exposure
Dethfactor: gotcha
sillysuthi: or, measure the palm of your hand and then add one stop more exposure
Dethfactor: I have a continious tungsten lighting kit
sillysuthi: what is the color temp of the lights?
Dethfactor: hmm good questions
Dethfactor: I'll have to get back to you on that one
sillysuthi: you'll have to compensate with your film or a filter
Dethfactor: gotcha gotcha
sillysuthi: unless you want the color to be warm
Dethfactor: anything mystical.. like if I pray to the thai gods of snickers bars that my photos will all look glossy
sillysuthi: what do you mean by glossy? not snickers no. maybe almond joy.
Dethfactor: I dunno
Dethfactor: Im just being silly
Dethfactor: what about mounds?
Dethfactor: no nuts for me maam
sillysuthi: mounds sounds too sexual. no
Dethfactor: well I don't want any nuts in my food
sillysuthi: me neither, especially if they're musky
Dethfactor: musky nuts? what kinda men you dating?
sillysuthi: i dunno!
Dethfactor: how can you not know? don't you check to see if they wash!? musky nuts.. geesh
sillysuthi: well, guys are generally musky! so wouldn't nuts be musky too?!
Dethfactor: no
Dethfactor: there is no musk about my nuts..
sillysuthi: how do you know? do you sniff your balls?
sillysuthi: ballsniffer.
Dethfactor: no.. I waft the odors.. I do not sniff..
sillysuthi: okay...
Dethfactor: hehe

Bris-Vegas

2006-03-16T02:05:00.000-08:00

I'm staying for another year.

Death of a truly great photographer

2006-03-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

I remember borrowing one of his books from the local library when I was 17 years old. His images have always moved me. He is one of the artists which inspired me to use photography as a tool to challenge worldview. Check it.

Gordon Parks, 93; fought evil with camera

By Mason Resnick

Former Life magazine photographer Gordon Parks, whose work captured the plight of black Americans at the dawn of the civil rights movement, died yesterday. He was 93 years old. In addition to his award-winning photography, Parks directed several films, wrote poetry, and composed music.

Parks was born in Kansas in 1912 and grew up in Minnesota, and earned his living as a self-taught fashion photographer. In 1942 he joined the Farm Security Administration, and photographed the nation's poor under the tutelage of the legendary Roy Stryker. While working for Life, a job which lasted from 1948 to 1968, Parks photographed everything from fashion to politics to sports, but he was best known for his photo essays documenting the effects of poverty in the United States and abroad.

In his efforts to expose intolerance with his camera, Parks made one of his most memorable images, shown here, of Ella Watson, whose mother had died and father was killed by a lynch mob. The caption to the photograph, which can be found on the Library Of Congress web site, showed that Watson earned $1,080 annually. But the caption doesn't go into the ironic detail that one of the offices Watson cleaned was occupied by a woman, presumably white, who served in a higher capacity. But both women had started work at the same time, with the same accomplishments and education.

Parks wrote in his autobiography, A Choice of Weapons: "I have always felt as though I needed a weapon against evil." For Gordon Parks, that weapon was his camera.

Infatuation

2006-03-02T07:33:00.000-08:00

Why is it that I am infatuated with a person who I know is absolutely no good for me whatsoever? The intrigue, the mystery behind his character, his elusiveness of what he really does is driving me to want to know more! I like his face, his laissez faire attitude, his bad boy mystery. He fits in with the type I usually end up dating which is definately NOT good. I am curious as to what it is about him. It's not that I've had a spectacular time with him. In fact, it's pretty ordinary, bordering on "what am I still doing here?" Yet, I keep coming back for more and I want to see him even now! I admit it. I like him. But he's fucked! I wonder if it'll get old soon. I guess I am a masochist. Why am I sooooo stoopid?

Cold

2006-02-26T21:42:00.000-08:00

I was speaking to Jacob yesterday morning. It was 6 a.m. and the night shadows had turned into the deepest grey. I had been home from a night on the town, sober. Josh and I had met up with one of his friends, Jacky who he hadn't seen hung out with in over 8 years. We then had a Valley night, all the freaks and geeks coming out to play for the first week of uni has begun. I ran into some Norwegian friends and we sat and drank coffee from 11 p.m. til 1 a.m. watching the cat and mouse games of all the boys and girls.

waiting for bus McAllister St. San Francisco, CA 2003

I left my other friends to their own motivations while I caught up with Fride, Kristen, Monica, Elleyn, and Neha.

Later on we caught up with Mr. 1ee7 and cruised by to his new house and drank whatever shit booze was left in the house by the last tenants. Let's just say, i didn't drink much (I was also unable to stomach anything that day. Think about it... thats why I was sober.).
Anyway, home was got past 3 am and I was up for hours and couldn't sleep. Which leads us back to where I started. I was talking on the phone to
Jacob yeasterday morning.
I was telling him about how I felt with people around me and that I was somehow shutting them out to my cares and worries and who I truly am or can be as a person. I justify that action by making myself believe that any of these people could really give 2 shits about whats happening in my lives which are not directly connected to them in any way. But these issues are core, to the roots of my being it takes me there and has a hold on my everyday life. I feel as if I have turned cold, numbed my whole being, and am treating it like shit.
My inability to express myself fully, this acting like a turtle in it's shell has got to stop.
Jacob mentioned his own experiences of leaving a place and shutting people out because limited time meant weaker bonds. I've also made some really bad decision that I know will take my life in a completely other direction.
I feel my decision to move back to Chicago a justifiable one and if a person were to think like a robot (as many asians do) and follow one's head instead of one's heart, then going to Chicago is the aye-okay decision for me!
There are matters of the healing and forgiveness part of the past, which takes me back to Chicago, the place where it all began, the place where I ran away from...

View fr. apartment, corner of Belmont and Halsted, Chicago IL 2001

It seems like I am preparing myself for the cold. It's turned me cold here as well. But it's not only that reason.
My last blog was a letter from Jason, my love in Thailand. I never knew a love like him before, and I am afraid I will never find a love like him ever again. I had promises of a life with him in Thailand, to work there for 2 years until he was ready to leave, anywhere in the world which suited me. I would have possibly seen myself with a person I could grow with and sharing and learning. I almost believe that this ending will be one of the biggest mistakes I will make in my life. But somehow, I must return to the place which I have avoided for so long. It's going to be so cold. In the end, I reap what I sow. Maybe this time, I will go away, having learned how to heal, and thus in turn having the ability to truly feel.

Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll

2006-02-11T00:55:00.000-08:00

So. It's been a while and in order for me to explain the last couple of weeks would be an utter bore except for the inbetween days. I don't have that long to write and I want this up ASAP, so this blog will be pure writing without planning and revision. So here goes. Let's begin on Australia Day... I went with Josh to a party where we met up with Anthony and Sarah. Josh and I took these little blue pills and were completely chopped. We stayed at the party not too long, but enough time for me to meet a guy named Liam and to exchange numbers. He had asked me to tell him a story and so I sat down and started a story that was never finished because i didn't like how it was turning out.
That night, I forgot my camera at the party and I called Liam. Luckily enough, his friend was still there and Liam returned the camera to me the next day and I ended up spending the day with him. It is now over 2 weeks later and I've been hanging out with him off and on. He's growing on me slowly but surely.
I've learned in the past couple of years to never put boundaries on the way you feel about someone. If you tell yourself over and over that it never is going to work for one reason or another, then it isn't. But, if you treat what is happening like a blank canvas, eventually a picture will be painted, and a story unfolds. Last I wrote, I was in like with a painfully shy boy. I tried to speak to him about it and it was then that the boundaries were cemented in. The answers to my questions were "you're leaving." It was agreed to never vring it up again. And I say fair enough. A couple of weeks have gone by since that day and it is purely platonic. Moving on...
So now, I am seeing Liam. He's a bit sketchy, but has a nice face. I've seen him in his best to worst stages, trying to make my mind up about how I fit in to the picture with this boy. We both agree that there is an attraction. We are similar in the sense that we go with the flow and if we want something or want to know something, we ask. I don't know what will happen here. We both are afraid of commitment. And he's sketchy. I guess I'll just wait and see.

Confusion

2006-01-22T04:28:00.000-08:00

Haight Street S.F., CA taken by Kris
So the plans for myself have slowly been changing in my head. The final question I must confront is "where to next?" If at all, the decisions I make, I make for myself. That is a key dilemma. But, what happens when you have a partner thats been waiting ever so patiently for the return of someone he is so deeply in love with, and she (as he states) is so selfish that for her there is only "I" and no "we". With relationships come compromise and why am I so unwilling to do just that? Is it the fact that maybe I just am not ready to step into the unknown of relationship bliss and having to care for more than just myself? I don't think that's it. I love love, or maybe it is the idea of love. I do admit that if I loved him as truly as I did when we were together, I would remain faithful to him over time and distance. Alas, that has been my downfall. One night stands and why not months of consensual sex leaves me remaining alone and unfulfulled. Next I meet people who I find to be some of the best people I meet in my whole time here in this awful city. What was once unbearable, is now enjoyable. I even met someone who if given enough time, I would love as I do, my three best friends in the world. And yes, I slept with him too.
I seem to put so much importance in my experiences and relationships I have with particular individuals. Maybe because these certain people make me feel comfortable in my own skin and also make me feel happy being who I am. All I ask for is acceptance and nonjudgment- a friend to a friend. But maybe that is also my defence. I know I do things that are wrong. I awknowledge and accept those facts. I just need to learn from them and move on.
So now, I have less than a month here. My visa expires in March. My time here has ended. I am in like with a boy who is painfully shy. Given the circumstances, that too will end. Besides, I haven't even bothered to ask him what he thinks. So, the question still remains, "where to next?"

Chicago panorama from the Shedd Aquarium taken by Kris

Bittersweet Irony

2006-01-19T19:04:00.000-08:00

This morning I recieved a phone call from the ex-photography convenor and now photo editor for the Sunday Mail. He was looking for a photographer to help shoot a story on Graffiti in Brisbane and how the Lord Mayor wants the city cleaned up of street art. I was to be assigned to photograph a few designated locations around the city, where there would be a few example of graffiti, in which the Courier Mail would portray it to be a public eyesore. He wanted me in right away to discuss the parameters and locations, but unfortunately, I do not own a vehicle and was forced to decline.

The ironic thing about this assignment for the newspaper is that I am currently working on a photo essay about Brisbane graffiti artists and have been out with a few of them, writing and hanging out. If I had been able to do this job for them, it would have been pretty funny if I had an image published in the Sunday Mail under an article about graffiti dirtying up our city of Brisbane. At the same time, I would come out with a photo essay documenting graffiti art and the people behind it. Maybe it's good that I wasn't able to take this assignment. I question whether or not it affects my credibility as a photojournalist, but when it comes to newspaper and editorial work, you get assigned to shoot what they tell you to, with not much/no control over how those images are used. I also would not retain the copyright to those images. But, I do admit, if I had a car, I would have taken that assignment in a heartbeat. Sweet, sweet irony.

Anyways, these are images from last week, taken from a drunken excursion. 1337, Cel 1, Sintax, and Joon reprazent.

Surveys say...

2006-01-13T23:25:00.000-08:00

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howboyishorgirlishareyouquiz/">How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out.When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life.
Your flirting style: Laid back
Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking
Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm
What you bring to relationships: Balance

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorheartdoyouhavequiz/">What Color Heart Do You Have?

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howdoyouliveyourlifequiz/">How Do You Live Your Life?

Days and Daze

2006-01-10T06:07:00.000-08:00

This weekend was filled with music and movies. Saturday was experimental Brit movies and the playing of Greg's band in West End on a rooftop. There was quite a fantastic view and urban feel, I felt happy and at home. I followed Mr. 1337 for some poster pasting and documentary work (but I think I was a little drunk. A LOT of my exposures I know were WAAAY off). The next day was movie marathon with Joshie again and then the next day I saw the Chronic (what?) cles of Narnia with Joshie boy, that fantastic cracka'. Although there were no cupcakes involved.

I'm having a bad day today, not a story I would like to share. But I have a bit of pent up aggression and would really love to bat a particular person in the knee or possibly, step on his balls. I know this is not a good blog today, I can't seem to write properly, but I just felt I had to post something. So instead of dissapointment at my craptastic life and how I decide to write about it, let's share some of our secrets.

Resolutions

2006-01-06T07:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, now I'm not one to make New Years resolutions, but I'm in definate need of one this year. And that is, you ask? To lose weight! They say (who they is, I dunno) that when you hit age 25, your metabolism slows and you can get fat. Well, guess what? I got fat. So, I'll do as I did when I looked like this 5 years ago. Get bronchitis and not eat for a week and then after that, only eat soup once a day... No, no, no... that's not the answer! I guess I'll exercise and try to cut out sugar from my diet. Or something. I was cleaning out my old emails that have accumulated for years and found a cute picture of myself age 21. Me and my best friend at the time, Nate. Chicago, circa 2001. I remember it was the night of the out of control house party they had, where 200 people showed up, most off the street. It was fucking insane. But, I digress. I wanna look like that again.

And if I go through with this act of health and fitness, I'll be like this again... Need I say more?

P.S. If you're wondering why I'm blogging so much is because I am usually a myspace addict. Not as bad as that though. You wanna see bad, here's my sister's profile. I took the photo of her in the buckets. Can you tell I'm really, really BORED?

Ode to Drama Jean

2006-01-05T21:23:00.000-08:00

Caprice, Capricious,
On your myspace you're delicious,
You're the only girlfriend I can truly talk to,
How much I love you and value your friendship.
The scenes of our lives always unfold,
Nonjudgmental and complete.
You're the only one I can tell.
Who has accepted me always.

You're the most beautiful woman I know,
Only you know how it is. Only you.
You sexy ass bitch!

Love,
Juniper

It was so nice to speak to Caprice today. I can tell her anything and everything about my life, and she makes me feel okay. I't's all good.

Freedom or Independence?

2006-01-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

I think my relationship may be coming to an end. I seem to have to make a choice between freedom and independence. Freedom is a liberty of action, whilst still being bound to outside influences. Freedom of choice still has certain boundaries whether they fall into the categories of personal, mutual, or societal boundaries. Independence is an unwillingness to be under that obligation to others. To be independent is not depending on another's authority or control, or even validation by another being. Freedom and independence therefore, are not mutually exclusive.

I have always sought to be independent, to do what is right for me, without any obligation to another, relationships or otherwise. I write this in relation to my plans of returning to Thailand, to be with someone who has been waiting for me for almost a year. I know that if I extend my stay here in Brissie, this relationship is at an end. I wonder then, is it worth it? I've heard this from my family and friends that if he truly loves me, then he would wait. He feels I am taking advantage of his patience as well as the situation. That I think of no one other than myself. Yet he knows how I am and he fell in love with me because of my fiercely strong will. I know what is right for me is to stay longer. What is right for us is to go back. Do I take the chance and extend my stay knowing that when I do get back to Thailand, he may not be there. We haven't seen each other for 10 months. I admit that I do not know if it is him I love anymore, or is it the idea of him that I love... the memories we shared. I know if I were to have never left his side, that things would be fine. I am easy in a relationship when the person is there with me. I suck at long distance relationships. I've been in enough to know. If he were here with me now, I'd give up my independence in a heartbeat. Do I suffer the consequences knowing that this decision I make can break something so special that it can never be touched again. Or do I remain steady in my belief that there is no be all, end all and that love may follow me some other time? Do I remain selfish and pick independence, or do I compromise and choose freedom? I guess the real question is "Am I ready?" AND of course this issue runs deeper and is more involved than what I am able to put into words here and now. Nothing is just black and white. I am a firm believer in shades of grey.

(on a sidenote, this does not work in relationship to more pressing matters like having a family and/or job and other similar obligations... i am a selfish twat)

Koala Yummies

2006-01-04T19:43:00.000-08:00

So, I found these pictures that I forgot I took from about a month ago. It's of 2 separate sleeping Koalas at some sanctuary. I was wondering why I took such a crapola picture of a koala, and then it struck me that the little guy has the cutest sleepy feet ever. He's just chillaxin' on his perfect little branch in his little Koala area at the wildlife sanctuary, waiting for his next feed. In another section was another little Koala bear nose face, just as sleepy, and just as limp.

Awwww, sweetie pie! Look at those little feet. You're like a chocolate hurricane (and so is Guzzi)!

I've been missing a couple of my friends lately. I don't believe I've seen them for over three years now. Strange. I sometimes wonder if when we meet up again, will things fall back into place, or if we have all changed and have grown apart. Everyone has scattered into the wind. A few have left Chicago. I've been away from the states for so long, but I am glad that I have at least found a few of my old Art school friends through myspace. There's only one left that I can't seem to find and that is Eric Hernandez. Eric, where are you?

I guess I miss the companionship and everyday banter that I can have sometimes with people. Doing stupid stuff for fun. Like yesterday for example. I played guess the jelly belly flavor with Josh. I picked a jellybean and gave him 3 choices. He had to guess which one it was. I have to say, something that stupid can be the highlight of my day, I am very easy to please. But, I digress yet again as I always seem to rant and ramble... in my own head. (check this out) But, I do ask myself, why it is always the case that I meet a group of really cool people that I wish I could get to know a lot better, but I have only a month left here. I wonder is that enough time or will it just end up as one of those instances where friendship leads to no more than just acquaintance, and just another experience i get to have in this lifetime. I would hate to think that I spent all this time here with only just a degree and a few shared moments with a few people. Suckasé. Well, I guess it's time to go do something productive, like taking photos. Giddy-yup.

Good Morning

2006-01-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

This morning, I was awoken by yelling in my ear. Wait. Let's rewind a few seconds. I was awoken this morning by my mobile ringing and when I answered, it was my mother yelling in my ear. Okay, okay, what did I do you ask, which would warrant a mother's call and subsequent yelling in the ear? Well, I didn't call her back right away. Usually, I am good at it. I call back like the dutiful daughter should call her asian parents back. But, sometimes old habits take hold... I used to go missing for days with their car and return home when I wanted. No wonder I was always in trouble. I was an independent ass of a youth with a car. And, I never tried to hide it. Take my sister for example. Jane always knew how to hide her partying ways. And denial is always good. Am I such an ass that I can't seem to lie about that sort of behavior? My dad's friend in Thailand once asked me if I had ever done drugs and what kinds, so I spit out this long list while my Dad just stared at me shaking his head. Anyways, I digress! This morning I was awoken by yelling in my ear. I felt like this.

Ah well. What a way to start the day. It's funny. My mom just wanted to tell me to hurry the fuk up and leave this city. And what am I spending all my money on? Well, I say Photography is expensivo. At least I know a few things that are happening. Dinner with Josh and Greg I believe is on the agenda. Maybe a misson is in store tonight. And I have to make some phonecalls and plans. Space plans.And on a side note, my boyfriend sent me this email with this link. Ahem. Hmmmm. Yeah. Have a good day.

In It.

2006-01-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

It is really hot and lazy daze here, the sun hurts and the sweat rolls off my forehead. It's a new year and I'm lining things up, rearing to go. This is the end for me here in Brisbane, and I am starting almost fresh again. Always a new life I find for myself, I sometimes feel I am running parallel lives. It makes me curious and it makes me feel alive to be able to make the decisions to remain unsettled and take myself to another country entirely and "settle" for a couple of years. This will be the 3rd semi permanent move for me in three years. Next month, I move to Bangkok.
I haven't really been getting anything much done here, but I blame it on the holidays. No, I take that back. I've been getting things done, slowly but surely. It's Australia, everyone's drinking and celebrating and drinking. Plus, it's summer and it's hot. Plus, it's laid back Australia here. Who am I kidding right?

The night the above picture was taken, I was hanging with some Brisbane graffiti boys. They were all drawing on stickers and in a drunken state I put one up thinking it would get taken down the following day. It's still there.

I have to admit, I am having the most fun I've had here since when I first arrived 4 years ago. I've made some good friends and I hate that I'll be going away yet again, starting a new life, yet again, but I always believe in the idea of until we meet again...